Before the Crisis - Recognizing Domestic Abuse and Protecting Children

Domestic abuse is not always a single visible incident. It can involve patterns of coercion, intimidation, isolation and control that develop over time, sometimes becoming more apparent during pregnancy and early parenthood. This article examines what Canadian research shows about how abuse escalates, how it affects infants and young children, why victims face barriers to protection, and how healthcare, child protection, courts and communities can act earlier - before preventable harm deepens and opportunities for early intervention are lost.

Abuse Is Not Always a Single Incident

The image of a single, visible assault still shapes public understanding of domestic abuse. A single violent or threatening act is serious in its own right, but the evidence shows that abuse also takes quieter, cumulative forms. In Statistics Canada’s 2018 Survey of Safety in Public and Private Spaces, psychological abuse was the most common form of intimate partner violence reported, experienced by 43% of women and 35% of men who had ever been in an intimate relationship. Overall, 44% of women and 36% of men reported some form of psychological, physical or sexual abuse by a partner since age 15.

Canadian law now recognizes both. The federal Divorce Act defines family violence to include conduct that “constitutes a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour,” whether or not that conduct is a crime, and lists psychological and financial abuse, threats, harassment, and harm to pets or property alongside physical and sexual abuse. Since mid-2026, the Supreme Court of Canada has also recognized a civil wrong of intimate partner violence built on coercive and controlling conduct. Separately, Parliament enacted a new Criminal Code offence addressing coercive or controlling conduct toward an intimate partner in June 2026. At the time of publication, that offence had been enacted but had not yet come into force; its commencement was deferred to 2028 to allow time for training across the justice system. The two are distinct legal processes. A civil claim is a lawsuit brought by the person harmed, seeking compensation, while the Crown prosecutes a criminal offence, which can result in a conviction and sentence.

Coercive control can include monitoring, restricting access to money, cutting a person off from family and friends, degrading them, or making them afraid of what will happen if they do not comply. Each act on its own may seem minor or explainable. Together, they can narrow a person’s life until independent action feels impossible. That is why early recognition matters: the pattern is often visible well before any physical injury.

Pregnancy, Birth and Early Parenthood

Periods of dependency and transition can raise risk. An analysis of Statistics Canada’s 2009 General Social Survey found that about one in ten intimate partner violence victims (10.5%) reported physical or sexual violence during pregnancy. Those abused during pregnancy were more likely to report severe forms of violence and multiple health effects than victims who were not abused while pregnant. These findings concern pregnancy itself and should not be read as direct evidence about the months after birth.

Research on the wider perinatal period adds to that picture. A national analysis of Statistics Canada’s Maternity Experiences Survey, based on interviews conducted in 2006-2007 with more than 6,400 new mothers, found that 10.9% had experienced physical or sexual abuse in the two years before their interview, spanning the time before, during and after pregnancy. That figure includes abuse by anyone, not only partners: an intimate partner was the perpetrator in about half (52%) of cases. The authors concluded that the periods before and after pregnancy “may be particularly important times to monitor risk of abuse.” A smaller study of 100 mothers in a Western Canadian city, interviewed about two months after giving birth, found that intimate partner abuse before and during pregnancy was associated with postpartum anxiety and post-traumatic stress symptoms, and its authors described partner abuse as a risk factor for postpartum mental health problems.

Separation is another recognized danger point. Ontario’s Domestic Violence Death Review Committee, reviewing domestic homicides from 2003 to 2020, found that about 71% involved a history of domestic violence and 66% involved an actual or pending separation. In 71% of reviewed cases, seven or more risk factors were present. The Committee repeatedly concluded that many of these deaths showed warning signs that, recognized and acted on together, offered opportunities for intervention.

The practical lesson is not that every pregnancy or separation is dangerous. It is that these periods deserve heightened attention from professionals and support networks, particularly where a history of control or threats already exists.

What Infants and Young Children Absorb

A child does not need to be struck, or even to be in the room, to be affected. The Divorce Act expressly includes a child’s “direct or indirect exposure” to family violence, and federal guidance explains that indirect exposure includes a child seeing that a parent is fearful or injured.

Child-welfare data show how central this form of harm has become. According to an analysis of the Canadian Incidence Study of Reported Child Abuse and Neglect, exposure to intimate partner violence was the largest category of substantiated maltreatment in Canada in 2019, the primary concern in 35% of investigations substantiated for a single form of maltreatment. The rate of substantiated exposure investigations rose from 4.86 per 1,000 children in 2008 to 6.51 per 1,000 in 2019. Exposure investigations also involved younger children: 30% of concerned children aged 0 to 3, compared with 21% of all other investigations.

The Canadian Paediatric Society identifies exposure to intimate partner violence as associated with mood and anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress, and later relationship difficulties. Developmental research explains why the earliest years matter so much: severe and prolonged adversity without adequate adult support can produce “toxic stress” that affects the developing brain, while sensitive, responsive caregiving acts as a buffer. The Canadian Paediatric Society likewise notes that a warm relationship with a trusted adult can support resilience. Exposure creates risk; it does not predetermine a child’s future.

This has a direct consequence for protection. A safe and supportive relationship with a non-abusive caregiver can be an important protective factor for a young child. Protecting that caregiver and strengthening the child’s support network are therefore integral to a coordinated child-safety response.

Why Protection Is Hard to Reach

It is often asked why victims do not report or leave. The better question is what stands in their way. Statistics Canada’s 2019 General Social Survey found that 80% of people who experienced spousal violence during the preceding five years said the violence had not been reported to police. Federal data also show that about a third of victims do not speak to anyone about what happened.

Documented reasons include believing the abuse is a private matter or not serious enough, shame and stigma, concerns about court involvement, and lack of trust in the justice system. Statistics Canada also notes that some victims do not know where to seek help, are unable to report, or depend on the person harming them. Other circumstances can compound these barriers, including financial abuse, housing insecurity, immigration-related dependence, disability, rural isolation, and fear of losing custody. For Indigenous victims, federal sources identify a lack of culturally appropriate and accessible services and distrust of law enforcement.

None of these barriers reflects a failure on the victim’s part. They describe the conditions under which victims must decide how to stay safe - conditions institutions can change.

When Control Comes From More Than One Person

Domestic abuse is often pictured as a matter between two partners. In some households, control is exercised collectively. Parents, in-laws, siblings or other relatives may monitor a person’s movements, restrict contact with outsiders, control money and documents, or pressure them to stay silent. The harm may come directly from a partner, from other family members, or from several people acting together, and it may be justified by appeals to family reputation, “honour,” tradition, or claimed religious duty.

This is not confined to any one community. Canadian research by Abji and Korteweg (2021) cautions against attributing so-called honour-based violence to particular cultural or religious groups. Their analysis examines how cultural meanings, family relationships and institutional responses can shape gender-based violence in majority and minority communities alike. What matters is the conduct and how control is organized, rather than the identity of the family or community.

Canadian family law already reaches beyond the couple. The Divorce Act defines family violence as conduct “by a family member towards another family member,” and its definition of family member extends to members of the household. The law measures conduct itself; an appeal to tradition, reputation or belief does not change what the conduct is.

The arrival of a child can intensify this pressure, as decisions about the child become another point of control and the parent’s dependence on the household grows. In the Maternity Experiences Survey analysis noted above, nearly half of the abuse reported around pregnancy was committed by someone other than an intimate partner. This category includes family members and others.

When the whole household enforces silence, staying may offer no safe option, and leaving can mean losing an entire support network at once. For survivors facing abuse within a household or wider family network, access to confidential support and safe accommodation can be especially important. National shelter data also demonstrate that abuse is not limited to intimate partners. In Statistics Canada’s survey of residential facilities for victims of abuse, a current or former intimate partner was the primary abuser for 78% of women residents, meaning about one in five identified someone else. Among women residents with parental responsibilities, 79% were protecting their children from exposure to violence. On the survey’s snapshot date, one-third of short-term facilities were full.

For professionals, the practical lesson is to ask who else in the household may be exercising control, provide opportunities for private disclosure, and use qualified independent interpreters rather than relying on family members when abuse is suspected. Federal research on family violence in diverse communities notes that services sometimes rely on community members to interpret, and that an interpreter who personally knows the client, or who disapproves of someone reporting abuse, may discourage a victim or survivor from disclosing. A disclosure may create risks involving more than one person, making individualized safety assessment essential. Systemic Press examines closed family networks and coercive control in more depth in Entrapment Without Bruises.

What Early Recognition Looks Like Across Systems

Healthcare. Prenatal, postpartum, pediatric and family-practice visits are among the few regular contacts many families have with professionals. The Canadian Paediatric Society recommends asking about family relationships sensitively when concerns arise, assessing immediate danger, connecting caregivers to safety resources, and documenting facts and verbatim statements rather than interpretations.

Child protection. Child protection is governed by provincial and territorial legislation, and reporting thresholds, statutory definitions and the treatment of exposure to family violence vary across jurisdictions. No single national reporting test exists. Most jurisdictions place a duty to report a reasonable concern that a child may need protection for everyone, not only professionals. In Canadian research and federal guidance, exposure to intimate partner violence is treated as a form of child maltreatment. An effective response keeps responsibility with the person causing harm. It works with the protective caregiver, rather than treating that caregiver’s inability to stop someone else’s conduct as the core problem.

Courts. The Divorce Act requires courts to consider family violence, including its nature, seriousness and frequency, and any pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour, when deciding a child’s best interests. The legislation contemplates recognizing a pattern early, rather than waiting for a single serious incident.

Community services. Shelters, victim services, settlement agencies, faith and cultural organizations, and employers are often the first to notice change in a person’s circumstances. Coordinated referral pathways mean a disclosure in any of these settings can lead to real help. Canada’s National Action Plan to End Gender-Based Violence, adopted by federal, provincial and territorial governments in 2022, names prevention and support for victims, survivors and families among its core pillars - a shared commitment to acting before crisis.

Accountability, Safety Planning and the Possibility of Change

Recovery and change are possible, for survivors and, in some cases, for people who have caused harm. But change is demonstrated through sustained conduct over time, not through assurances. Intervention programs, counselling and treatment can form part of a response. They cannot replace protective orders, monitoring where appropriate, and a concrete safety plan built around the people at risk.

Safety planning is practical and individual. It may include identifying safe people and places, keeping key documents and essential items accessible, and planning for children’s safety. Where it is safe and lawful to do so, documenting concerning incidents may help preserve important information. If devices, accounts, or belongings may be monitored, seek advice from a qualified victim-service professional about safer documentation and communication options. Trained advocates at shelters and victim services can help build a plan that fits a person’s circumstances, including if they choose to stay.

Moving From Recognition to Action

If you are a friend, relative, colleague or neighbor, listen without judgment, avoid pressuring the person to leave on your timeline, and help them connect with specialized support. If there is immediate danger, call 911 or your local emergency number.

Conclusion

The evidence is consistent: domestic abuse often follows a recognizable pattern, risk can rise around pregnancy, birth and separation, and exposure places young children at risk even when they are never physically touched. Canadian law increasingly recognizes this. The remaining task is to act on it earlier.

Prevention requires more than recognizing warning signs. It requires healthcare providers who can respond safely, child-protection systems that understand coercive control, courts that assess risk in context, and communities that make support accessible before a crisis.

For victims and survivors, transformation may begin with information, confidential support, and the opportunity to make safer decisions without coercion. For those who have caused harm, meaningful change requires sustained accountability and demonstrable changes in conduct. For children, it means recognizing that safety, stable caregiving and timely intervention are essential to their well-being.

Meaningful transformation begins when harmful conduct is recognized, accountability is sustained, and protection becomes accessible before a crisis. Victims and children should not have to experience severe harm before their circumstances are taken seriously.

Canadian Support Resources

Services and contact details can change. Confirm current information directly with each provider when you reach out.

• Emergency: call 911 if you or a child are in immediate danger. 911 is not available in every community (ShelterSafe notes an exception for Nunavut), so if you live in a remote area, keep your local police and health centre numbers on hand.
• ShelterSafe - online map of shelters and transition houses across Canada: sheltersafe.ca
• 211 - free, confidential referrals to local social, legal and community services. Phone, text, chat and web options can vary by location: 211.ca
• Kids Help Phone - 24/7 support for children, youth and young adults. Call 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868: kidshelpphone.ca
• Hope for Wellness Helpline - 24/7 support for First Nations, Inuit and Métis Peoples: 1-855-242-3310, hopeforwellness.ca
• Talk4Healing (Ontario) - 24/7 support for Indigenous women and their families across Ontario, operated by Beendigen: 1-855-554-4325, beendigen.com/programs/talk4healing
• 9-8-8 Suicide Crisis Helpline - call or text 988: 988.ca
• Government of Canada family violence services directory - resources by province and territory, including for men, older adults and newcomers: canada.ca/stop-family-violence
• Systemic Press Survivor Toolkit - practical documentation and safety steps: systemicpress.ca/survivor-toolkit

Legislative status: Legal references reflect the law at the time of publication. At publication, the new Criminal Code offence addressing coercive or controlling conduct had been enacted but had not yet come into force. Readers should confirm its current status through the Department of Justice Canada or obtain advice from a lawyer before relying on it.

This article is general educational information, not legal advice. For advice about your situation, consult a lawyer or legal clinic in your province or territory.

Sources

Legislation and Cases

• Divorce Act, RSC 1985, c 3 (2nd Supp), s 2(1) “family violence” and s 16. laws-lois.justice.gc.ca
• Department of Justice Canada. “The Divorce Act Changes Explained - Definitions.” justice.gc.ca
• Protecting Victims Act, SC 2026, c 19, ss 28 and 205(2) (coercion or control of intimate partner; coming into force). Royal Assent 18 June 2026. Justice Laws Website. Bill history: LEGISinfo
• Department of Justice Canada. “Protecting Victims Act” backgrounder (Bill C-16, 45th Parliament, 1st Session; Royal Assent 18 June 2026; coercive control provisions deferred to 2028). justice.gc.ca and openparliament.ca
• Ahluwalia v. Ahluwalia, 2026 SCC 16, judgment 15 May 2026. CanLII

Government and Statistical Sources

• Statistics Canada. “Trends in police-reported family violence and intimate partner violence in Canada, 2024.” The Daily, 28 October 2025. statcan.gc.ca
• Conroy, S. “Spousal violence in Canada, 2019.” Juristat, Statistics Canada, 6 October 2021. statcan.gc.ca
• Statistics Canada. “Intimate partner violence in Canada, 2018.” The Daily, 26 April 2021. statcan.gc.ca
• Women and Gender Equality Canada. “Fact sheet: Intimate partner violence.” canada.ca
• Office of the Chief Coroner for Ontario. Domestic Violence Death Review Committee 2019-2020 Annual Report, Executive Summary. ontario.ca
• Statistics Canada. “Canadian residential facilities for victims of abuse, 2024/2025.” The Daily, 6 May 2026. statcan.gc.ca
• Stumpf, B. Department of Justice Canada. Understanding Family Violence in Diverse Communities: What Subject-Matter Experts Think Family Law Legal Advisers Should Know (2023), Key Messages. justice.gc.ca
• Women and Gender Equality Canada. National Action Plan to End Gender-Based Violence (2022). canada.ca

Research and Professional Guidance

• Daoud, N., Urquia, M. L., O’Campo, P., Heaman, M., Janssen, P. A., Smylie, J., and Thiessen, K. “Prevalence of Abuse and Violence Before, During, and After Pregnancy in a National Sample of Canadian Women.” American Journal of Public Health, vol. 102, no. 10, 2012, pp. 1893-1901. PMC
• Desmarais, S. L., Pritchard, A., Lowder, E. M., and Janssen, P. A. “Intimate partner abuse before and during pregnancy as risk factors for postpartum mental health problems.” BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth, vol. 14, article 132, 2014. Springer
• Taillieu, T. L., et al. “Pregnancy and Intimate Partner Violence in Canada: A Comparison of Victims Who Were and Were Not Abused During Pregnancy.” Journal of Family Violence, vol. 31, 2016. Springer
• Abji, S., and Korteweg, A. C. “‘Honour’-Based Violence and the Politics of Culture in Canada: Advancing a Cultural Analysis of Multi-Scalar Violence.” International Journal of Child, Youth and Family Studies, vol. 12, no. 1, 2021, pp. 73-92. journals.uvic.ca
• Black, T., Fallon, B., Joh-Carnella, N., Houston, E., and Livingston, E. “Children’s exposure to intimate partner violence as a form of child maltreatment in Canada: Analysis of the Canadian Incidence Study of Reported Child Abuse and Neglect (CIS).” Children and Youth Services Review, vol. 175, 2025 (Results and Table 1). ScienceDirect
• Kimber, M., McTavish, J. R., Shouldice, M., Ward, M. G. K., and MacMillan, H. L. “Recognizing and responding to children with suspected exposure to intimate partner violence between caregivers.” Canadian Paediatric Society position statement, Paediatrics & Child Health. cps.ca
• National Scientific Council on the Developing Child. Excessive Stress Disrupts the Architecture of the Developing Brain: Working Paper No. 3, Updated Edition. Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, 2005, updated 2014. developingchild.harvard.edu

Read Further

The full research and structural analysis are available in: